Anticipation

 

Anticipation is a odd feeling. It contains a spectrum of emotions ranging from dread to excitement.
Right now I am experiencing both ends of that spectrum.

Next week Roman leaves to begin training with the National Guard. It will be over two months before we see him again, provided I can save up the necessary travel funds to transport myself and three children across the country. If I can't we won't see him until Christmas. And he won't be home for good until February.

Roman has wanted join the military ever since 9/11. The weight of conviction he has for this pursuit is astounding. Joining the heritage of thousands before him, answering the call of duty and honor. I know that he will succeed in everything he puts his hand too, because he has a strong passion, a noble character, and a great faith in a Sovereign God. 

My own faith feels weak right now. As I stare down the blank weeks on my calendar and ache at the thought of not being able to speak to him every day. We have had a fair amount of separation for work in the past, but this will be longer and with less chances to hear his voice. I have three young children, two of whom will ask daily, "Where is Daddy?" and "Why can't we go get him from work?" Too young to understand the concept of time, but old enough to notice that things will be different. And we will pray every night for Daddy at 'armies work' (to quote Ethan).

In addition to Roman being gone for training, events in the world remind me of the probability of his being deployed to dangerous places. The Cold War with Russia seems to have come out of deep freeze, while ISIS proves to the world that Islam is far from a religion of peace. The USA is hardly peaceful territory with the media frenzy surrounding Ferguson.

While I could spout my many opinions on all of the above (and as a history buff they are quite thorough), mostly they remind me that my husband is needed. There will always be manipulative, aggressive, and tyrannical leaders who need to be stood against. There must always be faithful men and women ready uphold truth, justice, and mercy.

What does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

I believe that Roman will come home, and I think that our marriage will be stronger for this time apart. I am excited to see how he will change and grow. I do dread the coming weeks of solo parenting, but I am so proud of what Roman is accomplishing that I can say to my children, "Your daddy is awesome!" without bitterness.

Plus, I will be able to write amazing love letters!




Long distance relationship advice from WW2 letters.