It was quiet June evening; Mum and Baby Girl had gone to help Auntie and Girl Cousin with a bridal shower, so Dad and Boyo were entertaining Uncle and Boy Cousins 1, 2, and 3. Dinner was over, Disney was playing on Netflix, Daddy and Uncle went outside to test a small business venture. There is a slight debate over the length of time they were gone (somewhere between 5 seconds and 5 minutes), but it was long enough for Boyo to find Mum's bright red lipstick and spread it throughout the 1500 square feet of our apartment. The fathers turned to the window to see a two-year-old boy covered in red. The initial thoughts of blood drew them to the horrifying scene of red smashed into the carpet, spread on the toys, kneaded into the couch's and spattered on Mum and Dad's brand-spanking-new bedspread. After a few choice words, Boy Cousin 1 was asked why he didn't come get them. The six-year-old responded with a very thoughtful, "I don't know." A mad frenzy of cleaning followed, the anxious fathers googling every known and unknown remedy to handle the stains. In addition to large quantities of stain remover and bleach, hairspray and nail polish remover were also effective at removing the red tint from our furniture. Uncle also dashed to Home Depot (running over a metal tricycle in the process) to rent a deep-cleaning vacuum which whisked away the lipstick, dirt, and who knows what else! Mum, having helped Auntie (who is pregnant with #5) clean up the last bits of party evidence, arrived home to find every light on, Boyo sleeping in his lipstick stained shirt, the washing machine and dryer humming full force, and Dad frantically vacuuming the still-damp carpet. After hearing the whole story, Mum could not help but laugh at the crazy and sweet man before her. His puppy eyes begged for forgiveness, and she gave it quite readily. After all, life with boys is bound be a little messy!
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