Be It Ever So Humble

In the last two and a half months the children and I have traveled over 6000 miles, been in three major cities, visited historic sites, modern attractions, and natures beauteous offerings. Our many vehicles started with trains and ended with planes. In between we rode in taxis, on buses, and let's not forget the tow truck segment of our journey. We have been on Army forts, Naval stations, and seen Air Force bases.

I have dealt with all kinds of tedious adult tasks: paying TWO rents, buying and selling a van, insuring and licensing said van, having the van in and out of the mechanics shop, phone/medical/electric bills, GPS systems, etc. I baked bread, made oatmeal, and cooked a Thanksgiving dinner in crockpots. I spent a holiday season away from my parents and my in-laws.

Someone asked me if I feel like an experienced traveler now.

I don't.

I do feel less naïve, more confident, and have a greater faith in God.

At so many points on this adventure (in particular with the van) I was internally begging God to get me through some unforeseen crisis. Completely unfamiliar with my surroundings, I was praying for His grace to see me to the end. I can say that He always gave me the tools I needed: the GPS lady on my phone guiding me through frenzied roads and traffic, Roman's uncle working for a mechanic and helping with all my car distresses, sympathetic strangers carrying bags up/down escalators for the crazy lady with three kids in tow, sunshine and rain.

The past two months have been the most insane and courageous adventure of my life.
For this moment I am glad to be home.

To all of you who prayed for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Merry Christmas!

 

I will praise you O Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of your wonders. Psalm 9:1

 

2014 has been a year of wonders for the Roman Mallery family. Those who know us well keep saying we are brave. Those who know us better say we are crazy, and they love us still. To all our parents and siblings, we thank you for your patience, love, and support. Without that we would be utterly overwhelmed.

At the beginning of the year, we knew it would be one of major change for our family. The process was set in motion for Roman to join the National Guard. We were expecting our third child. We were talking about a temporary move across the USA.

In March Roman was sworn into the United States Army, thus fulfilling a lifelong dream, as well as a deep sense of responsibility. Being a soldier is not for everyone. I firmly believe that he is called to this task, that the Lord gave him the special gift of helping others as a firefighter, EMT, and now soldier.

In May Ethan and Saoirse were joined by baby brother Carsten Raymond, and though the birth went well, he had trouble breathing, and so he needed to spend a day and a half with breathing assistance. He seems to have suffered not long term affects from his difficult start and daily I listen to his breath with thanksgiving in my heart.

In August Roman left for boot camp in Ft. Jackson, South Carolina. The kids and I then settled into life without Daddy.

In November the children and I traveled by train and car across the country to attend Roman's graduation from boot camp, before settling down in Maryland for a few months.

Now it is the middle of December. Roman is in Virginia working on his Quartermasters training. I am have a little house in Maryland, where I am preparing for a quiet, but happy Christmas for our little family.

Everyday I reasons to be discouraged; whiny children, cars that don't always work, missing my husband, bank accounts and bills, and of course always being tired. When those moments threaten to overwhelm me, I am learning to look at how the Lord has led so far. He has given us gracious landlords in two states, and the rent has always been paid. I was able to settle near family in Maryland who have been super helpful with everything, especially the car problems. My children are growing strong and healthy; they are polite and even helpful at times. They do bring me joy each day. I just need to remember to see it. I am able to be close to my husband and see him from time to time, which makes all of us very happy. All the ways that the Lord has brought each detail together is truly something to wonder at.

This has been a year to wonder at, and one to look at whenever we are discouraged. Because the Lord has done wondrous things for us, and will continue to show Himself faithful everyday for the rest of our lives.

During the Christmas season we reflect on the wonder of God becoming man in the form of a baby. We hope that you all have seen the wonderful work of the Lord in your lives during 2014.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Mallerys

Roman and Caitlin

Ethan, Saoirse, & Carsten

 

 

Our Train Ride

Well, now that we are settling into something of a routine I thought I might share some of the travel adventures that we have had over the past couple of weeks. After all we have done some rather major traveling lately, going over the mountains, across the prairies, through big cities and forests and farmland. We have reunited with Roman and are settling into our temporary home in Maryland.

We left Whitefish Montana at 6 am on Monday November 3rd. We had a family sleeping room on the train, two child-size bunks and two adult ones. It did not take long for us to spread ourselves all over that tiny little room.

The movement of the train was very soothing to Carsten, though taking a shower on a moving train is one of the strangest experiences I have had.

The last we saw of the mountains! November may not be the prettiest month for traveling, but there was still much to marvel at in the passing country.

Dollies made it much easier to endure the cramped quarters.

It took a full day just to cross Montana, and all night to pass through North Dakota. We had a stop in the middle of the night in Minot, ND where I had a chance to visit with a friend of mine who is studying to be a doctor.

Watching movies to pass the time!

Caught my foot!

Ethan really liked his upper bunk, and spent a lot of time playing there, but he did get tired of the train. He was glad to have any chance to step off the train.

Doing exercises' on the stairs. He got the hang of walking on the moving train and crossing between cars very quickly.

The sunset behind us.

Playing games with Nana. I am so grateful that my mother-in-law could travel with us. She was able to see Roman graduate, and it was a huge help to me. While traveling by train was definitely a smart choice with small children, it was made much easier by Rhonda's aid.

Getting a breath of fresh air in St. Paul. States went by much quicker on our second day of travel.

The mighty Mississippi River.

Ethan was paid by a fellow passenger to search under the seat for a bottle cap. The older gentlemen also enjoyed visiting with Ethan and Saoirse.

 

We spent Tuesday night in Chicago, and all day Wednesday and left for DC late Wednesday evening.

The dining car offered a nice selection of meals, very café like. Prices were high, but meals are included in the price of a sleeper ticket. It was nice not to have to think about meals. Our dining car attendant would bring us milk and hot water for tea as soon as we sat down. All the attendants were very friendly. We saw many other passengers in the dining car. It was fun to hear where they were from and where they were going to.

The passing countryside of Pennsylvania.

Our final meal before pulling into Union Station in Washington DC on Thursday November 6th.

 

I have no pictures of the train stations themselves. Suffice it to say it was a madhouse whenever we stepped off the train. Between babies, backpacks, and luggage maneuvering the crowds was overwhelming. Still, it was a lot of fun to travel by train, and my kids did really well. More posts coming on our day in Chicago, our crazy car buying frenzy, and the trip to South Carolina.

Going East

I bought my train tickets!

 

In 25 days my three children and myself will climb aboard an Amtrack train headed towards the east coast and Roman. 25 Days!

I am more excited than I can possibly express in the bland typing you see, since I am not really the type to use ALL CAPS or italics or !!!!!!, but I digress.

 

Roman will be graduating from boot camp on Thursday November 13th and if all goes well we should be able to spend the day with him on the 12th. Just five more weeks to get through before seeing him. From the letters he has sent me and a recent phone call, we know that he is working hard, taking on extra duties like he always does and made sharpshooter. He has received letters from several family members and a few friends, and always appreciates receiving them. Sometimes he shares these letters with his fellow soldiers. Apparently there are men and women there who don't really receive letters.

 

I have also been grateful to everyone who has encouraged me over the last several weeks. Those praying for me, and those who take the time to call, send a note or write a FB message. I appreciate each one and they often give me a lift in the middle of my days with crazy toddlers.

I also wanted to thank my mother and sisters, my mother-in-law and all my sisters-in-law as well for all the help they gave me while I have been sick the past two weeks. I finally seem to be on the mend, praise the Lord!

 

Many of you have asked how you can help. While your prayers and words are wonderful, we do have some financial needs at this time. Planning such a major trip is expensive, though I am trying to do it as cheaply as I can. I am still paying medical bills from Carsten's birth. Our life and needs are simple, but food and gas and rent must still be paid. If any of you can find it in your heart and wallet to help us, we would receive it most gratefully and humbly. I trust the Lord to supply all our needs, and also that He hears and gives us our desires. Thanks again for the prayers and words you have given so far!

 

Hope everyone is having a lovely October!

 

Anticipation

 

Anticipation is a odd feeling. It contains a spectrum of emotions ranging from dread to excitement.
Right now I am experiencing both ends of that spectrum.

Next week Roman leaves to begin training with the National Guard. It will be over two months before we see him again, provided I can save up the necessary travel funds to transport myself and three children across the country. If I can't we won't see him until Christmas. And he won't be home for good until February.

Roman has wanted join the military ever since 9/11. The weight of conviction he has for this pursuit is astounding. Joining the heritage of thousands before him, answering the call of duty and honor. I know that he will succeed in everything he puts his hand too, because he has a strong passion, a noble character, and a great faith in a Sovereign God. 

My own faith feels weak right now. As I stare down the blank weeks on my calendar and ache at the thought of not being able to speak to him every day. We have had a fair amount of separation for work in the past, but this will be longer and with less chances to hear his voice. I have three young children, two of whom will ask daily, "Where is Daddy?" and "Why can't we go get him from work?" Too young to understand the concept of time, but old enough to notice that things will be different. And we will pray every night for Daddy at 'armies work' (to quote Ethan).

In addition to Roman being gone for training, events in the world remind me of the probability of his being deployed to dangerous places. The Cold War with Russia seems to have come out of deep freeze, while ISIS proves to the world that Islam is far from a religion of peace. The USA is hardly peaceful territory with the media frenzy surrounding Ferguson.

While I could spout my many opinions on all of the above (and as a history buff they are quite thorough), mostly they remind me that my husband is needed. There will always be manipulative, aggressive, and tyrannical leaders who need to be stood against. There must always be faithful men and women ready uphold truth, justice, and mercy.

What does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

I believe that Roman will come home, and I think that our marriage will be stronger for this time apart. I am excited to see how he will change and grow. I do dread the coming weeks of solo parenting, but I am so proud of what Roman is accomplishing that I can say to my children, "Your daddy is awesome!" without bitterness.

Plus, I will be able to write amazing love letters!




Long distance relationship advice from WW2 letters.

A Gift

The comparison of children to precious gems is an old one. So what more fitting way to honor a mother than by adorning her neck, which has often been encircled by her children's arms, with sparkling symbols of their life. The life she carried, birthed, and nurtured shall receive this glorious decoration that only a heavenly crown can exceed.

The Unknown

The future is very much unknown to everyone. Still, most of us have a certain amount of predictability to our days. For instance, I can count on the fact that I will be changing several diapers each day for the next several months. Food will need to be cooked, laundry will need to be washed, dishes will inevitably spread over the counters and other clear spaces in my kitchen.

I know that in about four weeks (give or take a few days) I will go into labor, and afterward I have great confidence that I will hold a new life in my arms. That confidence is a blessing resulting from many blessings of medical advancement and centuries of fear removed. Even though I have confidence that my body will do what it is made to do, that the baby will follow all his/her normal birth procedures, the midwife will be there to ensure my safety, and I count on my husbands supporting presence, I still feel the weight of the unknown.

For me the act of birth is closely linked with death. Each time I have given birth, I have had conscious thoughts that somewhere else someone is dying. When my baby takes their first breath, I know that another has breathed their last. While I lay in exhausted rejoicing, others are plunging to sorrow. The words of Ecclesiastes, a time to live and a time to die, are inextricably linked.

I do not fear my own death, which is a mercy of the Lord, but in this time of preparing for a new life, I find it natural to think of preparation for death. From a practical standpoint I need to do several things: set up a baby's bed, wash linens, purchase diapers, make a will, arrange insurance documents. From a spiritual perspective I feel better prepared for death than for daily living, which requires so much patience and mercy. But each breath I take is gift from God, and the last breath I take will usher me into His glorious presence, so whatever I accomplish (or fail to finish) is in His hands. I hope to live with this new baby for many years, in order to see the faith they may have for death and for life, with all of it's unknown.

On My 25th Birthday

There are a few time of year that lend themselves to reflection, self-analysis, and goals. The most obvious is the change of calendar year. Another common one is the start of the school.

I find that my birthday is another time that approach myself with a critical eye towards growth and change.

This year I am 25.

Half-of-50

A-quarter-of-a-century

A milestone birthday

 

Back in Dec/Jan I created a board on Pinterest dedicated to 2014.

Pinterest ~ In 2014

I filled it with ideas about what I want to do, a few goals, and have since filled it with things that we have done. When the board started I found this:

 

 

Key words to think on as I plotted out goals and dreams for the coming year.

Life has given me a lot of curveballs in the past few months, and I have felt the weight of adulthood in a whole new way. From January 1st I have considered myself 25, and it is coinciding with some dramatic life changes. Moving forward from old desires to new visions, accepting the stage of life I am in, learning the difference between what I like and what I love. The path the Lord has laid for me is not always how I thought it might be, but it is defining and shaping the woman I am to be.

 

Simplify

I am learning my limits: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

 

Be Inspired

I am reading books that intrigue and interest me.

 

Be Original

I am figuring out that what I admire about someone else is not always the right thing for me.

 

Work Hard

I am planning my days around being pregnant and raising two toddlers.

 

Enjoy

How I handle my weaknesses affects my level of joy, as well as my family's joy.

 

When I look back on this year I think I will be able to say that the Lord worked deeply within my soul. There has been and will continue to be changes, changes which I hope will clear my heart and head for the joy and peace which He promises faithfully.

 

 

 

 

 

What Am I Reading in 2014?

February was an incredibly busy month and March is laid out to be even busier. Still, it has been nice to have a stack of books that I am eager to pick up in a spare moment. I usually have one sitting on the piano in the living area, and I find it easy to read a couple of pages when the children and chores are not demanding immediate attention. I am finding that the right reading material can actually inspire me to continue forward in my daily tasks.

 

So here is what I managed to read over the past month.

 

Loved, loved, loved this book. Tsh's style really grabbed me, and I was inspired by the vision of living intentionally. I appreciated the flexibility with which that vision was presented. How it looked for the Oxenreider family is fascinating, but I know it can and will look entirely different for the Mallery family. I am re-reading this more slowly.

 

So after reading her latest book, I decided check out her first book from the library. Definitely interesting to note how she has grown as a writer in the four year gap. I find this book helpful and so much better than "Large Family Logistics" which I had been reading. I would recommend "Organized Simplicity" above it for sure.

This was a book I borrowed from my sister and finally got around to finishing and returning. I think I may need to re-read it during a slower time of life.

I am still in the middle of this, but am reading it super fast. It falls into a similar category as "Notes from a Blue Bike" and I am totally enjoying the authors style. At times it seems like someone who is just thinking out loud about how to be happy.

I was given this book last fall, and while it was an easy and pleasant read, I am happy to reshelve it. While I would consider myself a definite Narnia fan, I become tired of constantly finding Christian references in the Chronicles. I am not denying they exist, but I just want to enjoy the stories the way I enjoy many stories. They provide wonderful examples to children of nobility, courage, and other attributes (which I believe all good children's literature should). When I introduce the books to my kids I want them to love them, because then the learning comes naturally. I don't intend to read them with a guidebook of character questions. So this was good book for those who need a jumping off point for deeper conversation.

 

There you have it! I am delighted to have covered so much ground over the past month-ish, and feel like I am getting into the reading groove again. I am trying to stick with books I want to read, rather than the ones I feel I should read. I have stopped a book or two because it was becoming an obligation rather than a joy. As a mother I do not have time to read something I don't really want to, and no one is forcing or expecting me to read anything. My reading should be helping, not hindering, my journey as a mother, wife, and woman.

 

Reading Goals for 2014

In my childhood, reading was the favored activity. From dawn to dusk any free time I had found me nose deep in a book. For several years I could read one a day. As my free time grew less and the books became more challenging (i.e. non-fiction) I went through one a week, give or take. And of course I learned about having multiple books stacked next to the bed all of which I was reading.
However, the past two years of motherhood, marriage, and generally living life left me with a shorter stack of books, and taking a lot longer to work through them. Last year I overwhelmed myself with a long list of books to be read in 2013, along with deadlines for finishing them. By mid-year I was frustrated whenever I sat down to read, and unable to focus on a once-loved activity. So I stopped reading my books and just read to my wee ones. Hardly stimulating material.

Throughout last autumn I learned a lot about how to say "no" to the world outside. This left me with a great deal of time that had hitherto been filled by church, extended family, Facebook, Pinterest, etc. And I found I could read again. Not the way I used too; after all I have a home to care for and children to invest in. I found I could read about two books a month. So in early January I made a list of books I would like to read. Books we have been given, books recommended, books that have sat on our shelves untouched, books borrowed. I organized by subject/genre, then picked three for January and three for February. And that is about as far as I have planned. I picked books that felt relevant to the needs of the hour. As the month draws to a close, I am trying to remember that it is not about finishing the final chapters of each book in a late night cram. It is about learning when to say "no"; to reading, to events, to outings, to the Internet. The needs of my life are my husband, two toddlers, and pregnancy. I can't do every good activity, clean every room, read every good book I hear of. But I am happy with how my reading is going so far. It is nice to pick up a book and read a page or two. Right now, it is not about finishing a check list. It is about choosing the best things over the good ones.

So did I read in January?

This has been a slow read, and more of a reference book. I am about half way through. It was passed on to me a while back by my sister-in-law. I picked it as a stimulator for ideas on managing my little family as we move out of the baby years. The author has a great deal of helpful thoughts. It is the small things that I that give me "Aha!" moments. Since I have a natural bent to organization, and was raised by an organized mother, the book feels like a repeat of things I already know. But I would recommend it to those who are looking for help in managing their homes.

Nearly at the end of this and I think I might need to read it all over again. This book was a gift last spring, but was so timely for right now as I re-evaluate a my stage of life.

 

I also have been reading Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as part of a large blog community.

Jane Austen and Motherhood is the reflective theme. It is fun to re-read this classic as a wife and mother. Whole new set of thoughts than when I was unmarried. The plan is to read through all six Austen novels this year. It is nice to have some familiar fiction to pick up now and then.

Those were the books I set out to read. A couple of bonuses came from a trip to the library.

This cookbook is now on my wish list. In the past month I learned a huge amount about making sourdough, a super simple pretzel recipe (Ethan loved making those) and successfully made croissants.

 

I picked up an audio copy of Wind in the Willows from the library, borrowed a beautifully illustrated version from my parents, and Ethan and I have enjoyed the adventures of Mole, Rat, Mr. Toad, and Badger over the past month. It was pleasant way to replace Netflix, and I hope I can find more stories to enjoy with my wee ones.

 

 

Along the lines of learning to say "no": The Art of Simple: To Don't Do, is a very encouraging article. I hope you are all settling well into whatever goals you made for 2014.